so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
