At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
