She announced her abortion via fbk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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