i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
