He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
