I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
