Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
