Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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