Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you had me at cake vodka
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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