like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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