4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
