I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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