New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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