I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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