don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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