do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize