Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
