I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
