she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
