I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize