i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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