my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize