i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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