you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize