no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
