summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
