My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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