No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
