Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
