I just threw up on my dentist
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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