I wish i was in the wii world.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
