I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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