OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
