Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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