please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
