i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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