I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
