I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
