Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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