margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
