remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
