I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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