you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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