He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
