i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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