i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
