his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
