im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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