Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
