How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
