Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
