I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
