apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize