That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am one with the molecules
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
