hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
