Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
