For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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