He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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