Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize