On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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