I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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