1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
