he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
