That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
