I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
