Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
