Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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