I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
