I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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