apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize