dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize