So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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