my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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