One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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