I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize