I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
