What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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