Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
