Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
