at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
