OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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