So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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